The snow is melting (maybe), spring is in the air, and the Facebook relationship statuses are changing. And you're increasingly feeling like you're the one left standing (and not walking down the aisle.) Your schedule is changing as your friends don't have time anymore for spontaneous coffee or drinks. Maybe when they do have time, you secretly and disdainfully judge them for taking advantage of Single Ladies Night drink specials, which they certainly don't deserve. People are getting married all around you and you feel that the whole world is moving forward, leaving you behind. Well, before you go on a Katherine Hegel (or Tarantino) binge and box yourself in a tower of self-sorry, over-it, and better-than-you…ness, let's analyze this.
Other people's successes do not devalue your own. Marriage/civil union is just another step in people's lives. No doubt, it's a big deal. But marriage is only one of plenty benchmarks in life. People make it happen at different stages of their lives, and they make it happen in different ways. Meanwhile, you are still a very accomplished, very whole human being. Watching all of your friends find partners can be difficult and still, make you feel like you are not traveling down the 'path of life' the way you should be. But be warned, it's not fair to you or your friends. Comparing your life accomplishments to marriage is comparing apples and oranges. So try not to let people finding their life partners get you down about how you've lived your life.
Stay positive! I promise it will be worth it. It is so easy to mentally (or verbally) scoff at your friends when they share their unrequited happiness with you. I mean, seriously, it's just another wedding. You may not have known that your friend even had 300 friends on Facebook to begin with, let alone the people "Liking" her new relationship status. You might think he's a bit young to be getting married, or that she's not stable enough by herself and only marrying the dude to save herself from the vast plain of loneliness or whatever, BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS. Your business is to be a supportive friend, and try not to take others' big achievements so personally. Also, for your personal sake, try to respond from a positive place. If you get so smug about other people's marriage, it could
Being the last person to do anything, whether it's getting picked to be on a kickball team in gym class or getting your first visit from Aunt Flo (middle school girls can just be mean), is tough. It can weigh on your self worth, and lead you to question why or how it happened. Even though everyone else is getting married, you feel like the trapped one. But instead of taking your feelings out on your friends and loved ones, try to turn even the most subtle subversive thoughts into positive ones.
Because seriously, peer pressure is definitely a thing, especially when it comes to marriage. So, if marriage is what you want, do not worry. Your day will come! In the mean time, stay positive and supportive for your friends.
Image via WeddingLily>