All couples feel disconnected from time to time and the responsibilities of everyday life can certainly take their toll on togetherness. Busy work schedules, child rearing, household chores, financial difficulties and familial obligations are just a few reasons why feeling emotionally connected to our partners can prove difficult at times.
It’s normal, and expected, that in the span of a marriage you are not always going to feel super connected to your spouse. However, if you notice that there are more times when you feel disconnected than connected, it’s time to take a closer look at your marriage and begin getting it back on track.
Here Are 5 Common Connection Culprits To Look Out For:
1) Putting the Kids First, Every Time
When kids enter the picture, it’s easy to shift our primary focus from “us” to “them”. But beware of having your marriage take too big a hit for the sake of the kids.
Solution: Taking care of your marital health and happiness doesn't just affect you, it affects your children. If you're not happy, they'll notice. Making your relationship a priority, and putting in solid couples time, is good for everyone involved.
2) Roommates Over Romance
One of the great things about married life is the level of comfort you feel with your spouse. But if you don't shake it up every now and then you're in danger of feeling more like roommates than romantic partners.
Solution: Make an effort to get out of your routine rut and rev up some spontaneity and romance. Once a week, or even every other week, plan on some alone time together and stick to it. Alternate who plans what so one person doesn’t get “stuck” as the planner and run out of steam.
3) Taking Your Spouse for Granted
We all take our spouse for granted at times, especially when we feel safe and secure in our relationship. But if you take it too far, it can leave your partner feeling unappreciated and unloved, creating distance between you.
Solution: Push yourself to praise your partner on a regular basis. Let them know how lucky you are to have them. Pointing out the positive, no matter how trivial you think it is, can be contagious.
4) Sex Takes a Backseat
Without a doubt, the daily grind can leave us emotionally, mentally and physically spent. So it’s no surprise that by lights out, either one or both of you isn’t up for getting it on. If you can’t remember the last time you had it, it’s probably been too long.
Solution: Sex is an important part of keeping the connection alive. If it's not happening, talk openly with your partner about what’s getting in the way. Physical intimacy, whether it's hand holding, hugging, making out or going all the way, is key to a successful, long term relationship.
5) Technology Takeover
Most of us will admit we're addicted to one smart gadget or another. But if you're twittering during breakfast, texting through dinner or falling asleep to the hum of your IPad, it may be time to reign it in.
Solution: Practice proper etiquette with your partner. It’s rude to text, check your email, make a call or surf the web when putting in couples time. Work on connecting with your partner face-to-face.
For helpful tips and additional articles on these topics, check out: