They say soul mates don’t always come in the package that we planned for. But what if they don’t have to come in a romantic partnership at all? What if the love of plutonic friends is enough to sustain us? What if we don’t always need a romantic relationship? What if your BFF is the most important person in your life?
Let’s face it; girlfriends are important. The love that happens between two female friends is at times as close as any relationship can be. As a culture, we are so hung up on a need for romantic love to sustain us, but really, what would you be without your closest female friends? In the age of technology, when we’re more connected to our devices than we are to each other, there is more need than ever for the connectedness that comes with our closest friends.
Over the history of time, women have bonded together in a way that they don’t often bond with men. They have come together in struggles and strengths. Women bond as childbirth support, through breakups and weddings. They connect during times of stress, and times of wonder and awe. The love that can be shared between two women rivals the most intimate connections that women may have with men, because it’s in that connected female space that there’s the comfort of showing one’s truth.
In an ideal world, we would not be hiding from anyone. We’d be actively trying to seek out our truth and find space to be our most authentic selves. In reality, this doesn’t always happen. People are often hiding important parts of themselves, the parts they may not feel fully comfortable expressing. The parts which are important to express in order for growth to really be possible. Through the intimate bonds that form with female besties, there is often a space to practice being your most truthful self. So hold on tight to your BFF, and seeks comfort in the connections that can come from these bonds.
I lucked out in a best friend. Meeting at the age of twelve, we were instantly bonded over commonalities of being born at home, and having hippy parents. We connected on a level that often feels much more intimate than romantic love. We can look at each other across the room and connect, knowing each other’s thoughts. She is my soul mate. I turn to her with every sorrow, and every bit of strength. I seek her approval, and challenge her choices. She listens with ease, and unfaltering love.
As with any relationships, we’ve had our ups and down, fights and tears, tragedy and triumph. Where romantic relationships often end in signs of struggle, friendships often thrive by the ability to be comfortable enough and honest enough with each other to work through it. So when you’re feeling less than the love you’re seeking through your romantic desires, turn to your friends. Be comforted by them. Be honest with them. Practice being your best self with them, so that you can bring that to the table in future relationships. And know that even if you don’t have a soul mate in a romantic form, you may just have one in a best friend.
“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” –Helen Keller